This article is the 3rd in a series that discusses physical practices to enhance health. The first was on Breath, then Body Alignment. This article will introduce practices for the reader to further explore on how to ebb sen-sex uality instead of it using us. Since my personal perspective relates any life activity to the primal forces termed Yin/Yang, I will refer to these polar opposites throughout.
I will present some principles and practices for the reader to digest on Chi, Love and Sexuality, the one physical activity that is directly responsible for everyone’s existence.
Sex is likely the most powerful force (Chi) we ever experience. While other physical practices (breathing, exercise, food, sleep) have the power to maintain life, sex is the one activity that generates enough power to actually create life and as such deserves reverence, honor and sacred respect.
Starting with a feeling between two people that drives them to unite- to merge body mind and soul, the sexual experience fertilizes and empowers the seed of human consciousness that grows within our body from conception to birth through life and finally, death. Just as the force between polar opposite forces has the potential ability to create new life, like creativity of any kind (art, dance, music), sexual union also has the ability to transform complementary forces- yin /yang into their opposite. In lovemaking, cold becomes hot, frustration may become appreciation, calm may become excitement, dry becomes wet, fear becomes courage, even pain may become pleasure and from separation comes union.
In our embrace
with every touch
both receive and express
You – I ? a welcome death of what was
Behold a birth anew as ONE –
with every breath
ascend descend transcend
In ancient times, the power of sexuality creating new life- a child, was revered as a microcosm of the creation of the whole universe. The complementary opposite forces of the universe colliding to form what was eventually named the Big /Bang was paralleled with woman and man (complementary opposites with their respective egg and sperm) uniting in love through the sacred act of mutual orgasm.
Children conceived with the synchronicity of divine consciousness paired with the fuel of orgasm were considered to be gifted with potentially extraordinary creative powers.
It is no wonder that the ancient traditions of Native America, Celtic, Middle East and Asia used the power of sex, sensuality and LOVE to consciously create vital health and in doing so established fundamental regularly practiced methods that enhance life quality and longevity.
While there are always unique extenuating circumstances and pathologies, from the Chinese perspective, disharmony of sexual “Jing/Essence” Chi is connected to all and any health condition(s). It is said “if unsure what system to treat choose to create harmony with the Kidney that houses the Sexual Jing/Essence.” This Chi is considered both a reservoir for and the root origin of our health and creativity. Everything else, like a tree’s branches or leaves, is dependent on that root.
The power of Love, sex and sensuality make for a very sensitive subject. Unlike other physical activities like breathing, exercising, eating or sleeping, we have created codes and laws to regulate love and sex lest it’s strength be abused or cause harm. Note: of interest- in modern times the possible abuse upon food and breath are now also being regulated with anti- smoking laws, auto emission control, food labelling, restrictions on GMO’s, organic/commercial etc.
In ancient times the Law of Nature- Yin/Yang was the deliverer of Universal Justice and people followed Yin and Yang in their daily activities.
Following is a quote from the Nan Jing, an ancient text where Huang Di, the Yellow emperor asks his physician about longevity.
“I’ve heard that in the days of old everyone lived one hundred years without showing the usual signs of aging. In our time, however, people age prematurely, living only fifty years. Is this due to a change in the environment, or is it because people have lost the correct way of life?”
Qi Bo replied, “In the past, people practiced the Tao, the Way of Life. They understood the principle of balance as represented by the transformations of the energies of the universe. They formulated exercises to promote energy flow to harmonize themselves with the universe. They ate a balanced diet at regular times, arose and retired at regular hours, avoided overstressing their bodies and minds, and refrained from overindulgence of all kinds. They maintained well-being of body and mind; thus, it is not surprising that they lived over one hundred years.”
“These days, people have changed their way of life. They drink wine as though it were water, indulge excessively in destructive activities, drain their jing – the body’s essence that is stored in the Kidneys – and deplete their qi. They do not know the secret of conserving their energy and vitality. Seeking emotional excitement and momentary pleasures, people disregard the natural rhythm of the universe. They fail to regulate their lifestyle and diet, and sleep improperly. So it is not surprising that they look old at fifty and die soon after.”
“The accomplished ones, of ancient times, advised people how to guard themselves against disease-causing factors. On the mental level, one should remain calm and avoid excessive desires and fantasies, recognizing and maintaining the natural purity and clarity of the mind. When internal energies are able to circulate smoothly and freely, and the energy of the mind is not scattered, but is focused and concentrated, illness and disease can be avoided.”
“Previously, people led a calm and honest existence, detached from undue desire and ambition; they lived with an untainted conscience and without fear. They were active, but never depleted themselves. Because they lived simply, they knew contentment, as reflected in their diet of basic but nourishing foods, and clothing that was appropriate to the season but never luxurious. Since they were happy in their position in life, they did not feel jealousy or greed. They had compassion for others and were helpful and honest, free from destructive habits. They remained unshakable and unswayed by temptations, and they were able to stay centered even when adversity arose. They treated others justly, regardless of their level of intelligence or position.”
Huang Di asked, “I’ve heard of people in ancient times, spoken of as the immortals, who knew the secrets of the universe and held the world in the palm of their hands. They extracted essence from nature and practiced Qi Gong and various stretching and breathing exercises, and visualizations, to integrate body, mind and spirit. They remained undisturbed and thus attained extraordinary levels of accomplishment. Can you tell me about them?”
Qi Bo responded, “The immortals kept their mental energies focused and refined, and harmonized their bodies with the environment. So they did not show typical signs of aging and were able to live beyond their biological limitations
“These achieved beings did not live like ordinary humans, who tended to be hard on themselves. They were able to travel freely to different times and places since they were not governed by conventional views of time and space. Their sense of perceptions were supernormal, going far beyond the sight and hearing of ordinary humans. They were also able to preserve their life spans and live in full health.
“There was a third type of a person, known as the sage. The sages lived peacefully under Heaven and Earth, following the rhythms of the planet and the universe. They adapted to society without being swayed by fashions and trends. They were free from emotional extremes and lived a balanced, contented existence. Their outward appearance, behavior and thinking did not reflect the conflicting norms of society. the sages appeared busy but were never depleted. Internally they did not overburden themselves. they abided in calmness, recognizing the empty nature of existence. The sages lived over one hundred years because they did not scatter or disperse their energies. See Li-cheng-yuen-250-yrs-old/
“A fourth type were the natural people who followed the Tao, the Way of Life, and were called naturalists. They lived in accordance with the rhythmic patters of the seasons: Heaven and Earth, moon, sun and stars. They aspired to follow the way of the ancient times, choosing not to lead excessive lifestyles. They, too, lived plainly and and enjoyed long life.”
Lao Tse the Taoist sage said: “In following the TAO ( the natural way of harmonious living), know the Yang (expressive, active and fast) and live in the Yin(Receptive, passive and slow)”.
Such polarities can be further understood by applying some general complementary/opposite energies demonstrated by male and female. While certain behaviors may be attributed to respective genders, it is important to avoid stereotype associations as yin or yang behavior exists in varying proportions in all individuals of both genders. The reader can assess in which ways and when he or she demonstrates more typically male or female characteristics.
Yin is stereotypically used to describe woman and Yang to describe man. This general classification if applied dogmatically leads to a major misunderstanding of Yin/Yang.
For example, MEN mostly have more Yang/steadfast, tougher, warmer, solid exteriors compared to WOMEN who have more Yin/flexible softer, cooler, sensitive exterior bodies. AND… when it comes to the sexual organs, the expression of stability and endurance between women and men is reversed.
One carefully applied touch to a man’s testicles leave him helpless. In contrast, a woman’s reproductive organs have the strength to withstand monthly bleeding and bear children after enduring hours of labor. The weakness and vulnerability associated with the term “being a pussy” may apply to a baby kitten, as it certainly makes no sense when comparing weakness to a woman’s vagina that is anything but weak. A woman’s “pussy” may very well be the most resilient and strongest (Yang) of all human organs.
I like the expression that women own sex while men are but occasional visitors to the Sacred Garden where both heaven and earth intermingle to co-create in her womb.
In ancient times woman was considered a magnificent anomaly.
Who is this wonder of life?
When I bleed, I may die
How is it she bleeds every month for 4 days and still lives?
Who is this wonder of life whose body makes sweet food to nourish my sons and daughters?And when asked from where does life come?
I must answer-there is only ONE
For I am just a man
Ancient men believed they were here to serve and protect the women who were considered the earthly manifestation of the creator of the universe.
In the Hebrew tradition, women were always considered closer to G-d and were thus placed in the balcony of places of worship(synagogues). Men were placed lower to ground their studies in approaching the “good (g-d) ness” that women already possessed.
Interesting that in modern times women had to almost fight to vote and to this day are still struggling to gain equal pay as the “weaker sex. ” To think that women have been lowered in status because of their advantages? This turnaround in power may be an interesting study in conspiracy theories.
Back to Love and Sex
When it comes to orgasm, comparatively speaking, men and women display highly different characteristics. Most importantly to acknowledge is that through conventional genital orgasm, a woman gains energy while a man loses energy. This and other sexual behavior differences between men and women have been a source of interest and humor (based in truth?) combined with countless research studies to better understand ourselves.
When it comes to orgasm are men somewhat easier activate and/or understand? Are women really more complicated? Men can ejaculate yes, almost at the flip of a switch. For women orgasm is somewhat more mysterious. Does this mechanical metaphorical depiction above apply to other areas of life style too? I will include a link where readers can determine whether they are more wired as a female or male according to general stereotypical research on male and female brain differences. This article will stick to sexuality.
Men are generally “hot to trot” / ready to go at the first glance of an attractive partner. This initial quick, expressive and often assertive even competitive behavior is a function of the sympathetic nervous system (run or react) combined with testosterone production that fuel Yang/active behavior.
Men’s ejaculation is more is under parasympathetic (relaxation) control and is dominated by an expanding explosion that (without training), happens automatically. In order to control ejaculation, men need to shift to sympathetic mode almost as if a danger is approaching before it is too late, in order to prolong the “point of no return” automatic response of orgasm. In order to delay orgasm which can benefit a man’s health, the slowing down of primal urges is necessary in the beginning. Yes, cool down, move slower (yin) in the beginning and focus (yang) mind control (sympathetic nervous system) by making conscious and forceful contractions of pelvic floor muscles to prevent the “point of no return” where the parasympathetic nervous system dominates and orgasm is unstoppable.
Premature ejaculation occurs when the relaxation phase controlled by the parasympathetic nervous system dominates. This point of the no return phase overrides conscious mind control, and movement- slow, fast, stopping completely or even withdrawing from the vagina have no effect on stopping ejaculation when this point has been reached. After ejaculatory orgasm (there is another type of orgasm men can acjieve) men continue the parasympathetic dominance with recuperation, rest or sleep.
In comparison, for women to orgasm they first need relaxation, warmth, safety, time, connection and activation of the relaxing / parasympathetic nervous system to become aroused. These are considered YIN influences. Other yin relaxing influences include: sensitive touch, softly spoken, emotionally supportive conversation, dark or ambient lighting (candles) and music. Comparatively speaking more men like to keep their eyes open or even prefer to make love with the lights on(Yang) during sex compared to women tend to close their eyes and statistically prefer darkness (Yin) during sex.
When it “comes” to the time of the actual orgasm, women exhibit more Yang -assertive moods, behavior, faster breathing prior to climax, which in order to occur usually also includes increased vocalization, stronger and faster movement and vibrations throughout the pelvic and vaginal areas and finally contraction of vaginal and pelvic floor muscles.
Thus, for women to orgasm, which achieves more energy / benefit to their health, they need to first have the relaxation warmth and trust inherent to the parasympathetic response followed by the necessary energy to express their sympathetic active, assertive and even wild side energy.
If a man has in comparison, switched to the relaxed parasympathetic mode of the “point of no return” while she is in sympathetic “on the verge”… we have what is known as the lost battle of the sexes where man climaxes followed by an immediate limp and passive extreme yin state while the woman is in perhaps the strongest state of active powerful energy she ever experiences. This battle ends with no winner.
Mostly, this scenario is frustrating for both male and female.
Conversely, when male and female are coordinated in their peak experience… an almost magic-like, deep intimacy and ultimate peace is attained as perhaps the greatest of polar opposites become unified. The energetic ripple of couples in harmony expressing the mutual power of love ripples out to the infinite universe and is perhaps the most important single act we can participate in to contribute to one peaceful world.
Is our continued survival in an otherwise violent world proof that love overcomes all?
My version of Jimi Hendrix’s famous quote is:
“We achieve peace on earth
when the power of making love overcomes
the love of making power.”
The knowledge of using the power of polar opposites between couples has been used for personal and social purposes. The Druids and other cultures used “sex magic” to empower their prayers for creating fertile crops, prosperity, helpful weather, harmony within their community relationships as well as with opposing villages.
The consistent theme amongst the different cultures who used sensuality and sexuality, was to blend the Yin/Yang aspects of lovemaking as necessary- Yin to build Chi and Yang to express it.
Some of the practices will be listed and I will leave it to the reader to follow up on. I, as well as many other practitioners facilitate such classes and couple counseling with these practices:
Coordinated breathing between partners
(there are many different breathing exercises that generate different effects- see end of article for one.)
Absorbing and Expressing each other’s vibrations through conscious contact at various places of the body contact.
Different points, chakras and meridians are consciously focused on to create different effects.
Exploring all senses prior to during and after sens/sex ual relations-aromatherapy, tasting, (each other as well as energy enhancing foods) visual directing of energies, sensual massage, spoken affirmations.
Different positions and methods that are specific to helping internal organ vitality. E.G. The penis and vagina are respectively divided into 5 parts that represent the associated organs of the 5 elements/phases. Different penetration depths and techniques affect different organs.
Health enhancing foods and herbs to enhance the vitality of sexual organs. E.g. Black soybeans, natto, (fermented steamed soybeans) dang quay( anjgelica sinensis), damiana for women. Hiziki (seaweed), black sesame seeds steamed Rhemania, Ginseng, for men.
Circulation of genital stimulation energy throughout the body for health and healing.
Pubococcygeus, Anal and Urethral/Vaginal MuscleControl– Best done with coordinated breathing, enhances whole body vitality, and both control and response of sexual organs making orgasm more fulfilling and more of a voluntary action.
Development of the internal orgasm– Here, orgasm is expressed internally (not genitally) through various places within the body. The most profound being felt in the heart center and/or brain.Chi-Love-
This last skill makes it possible for men to gain vitality while having an internal orgasm instead of losing jing/chi/essence from the typical genital ejaculatory orgasm. This method needs expert guidance because when done inaccurately can harm the prostate and when done skillfully improves prostate and overall health by recirculating vital nutrients and energy throughout the body. For both men and women, internal orgasm is considered an essential tool in achieving life vitality and longevity
Consult a qualified practitioner and your doctor when using these and other exercises in a way that is specific to your personal health condition.
Different recommendations from Chinese Medicine on ejaculatory control for men:
Formula A, numbers:
Ejaculate 2 or 3 times in every 10 sexual encounters, regardless of age or season.
Formula B, season:
Every 3 days in Spring, every 15 days in Summer and Autumn, not at all in Winter.
Formula C, age and strength:
Teens and twenties, twice a day for individuals with Optimal Health, once for those whose health is compromised for any reason (dis-ease, overworked, fatigued, chronic pain. emotional distress, taking medication of any kind(includes recreational drugs, alcohol, smokers, habitual coffee caffeinate tea drinkers
Thirties: optimal- once a day, compromised- every other day.
Forties: optimal 1:3 once in three days, compromised once in four days 1:4,
Fifties: optimal 1:5, compromised 1:10
Sixties: optimal 1:10, compromised 1:20,
Seventies: optimal 1:30, compromised 0, not at all.
2) Union Exercise with Partner:
Face your partner in a comfortable sitting position on the edge of a chair or on the floor. Place your right hand over your partner’s heart center. Place your own left hand over your partners right hand (that is on your heart center). Look into each other’s eyes.
a) Breathe slowly coordinating your breath, inhaling and exhaling in unison for approximately 5 minutes.
b) Breathe slowly in reverse-i.e. when your partner exhales you inhale. When you exhale, your partner inhales. This may take some time to feel comfortable . Relax it will come. Continue for approximately 5-10 minutes
Keep your attention on the the sensations you feel at different locations in your body. When thoughts arise focus on your partner’s eyes your shared breath and the sensations in your physical body. Allow your eyes to become a doorway for receiving and expressing the sharing of each other’s souls. When the brain kicks in use your breath to empty….as if the breath were a wind blowing away the clouds (thoughts) leaving clear skies-space within the borders of each other’s bodies. Simply share space with each other. If you choose to focus on something, let it be gratitude.-or simply surrender and open to whatever feelings come up, notice breathe through them and stay with feelings, physical sensations. If you feel like closing your eyes occasionally-fine. Come back to open eyes
c) Breathe together with a) or b) while closing the muscles of your pelvic floor on the inhale. This may also take some time to feel comfortable. Relax, it will come. Continue for approximately 5-10 minutes.
d) Finish by looking down or closing your eyes. Slowly move your hands away and into your lap. Feel your body separate from your partners physical touch. after a minute look at your partner again.
Share your experience with each other.
Using such practices in combination with exercise, healthy eating, deep sleep and closer more harmonious relationships will extend the quality of health and healing that is generated in sex/sens ual activities so that people can have sexually enhancing relations at any age.
The development of the internal orgasm allows people to engage in loving relations past the norm of generally accepted ages of being sexually active. These practices can be used to harmonize the opposite polarities (yin/yang) that exist in all genders whatever their gender preference in sexual relationships.
How is it that I drown in the unity of your radiant eyes
Sailing across the sea of our sweet caress
Enveloped by our scent and sound
of what seems like the ego’s welcome death
discovered in each united breath
Only to birth my soul anew conceived in the embrace of our shared surrender
Tasting the sweet nectar of what was once a dreamed possibility
Real, in each now, we are one-
greater than the sum of our parts
United with all because we blend…… transcend
Lovemaking is the Yang side of the two activities done (for the most part) in bed. It is a complement to the other Yin activity -sleep. Harmonious sex leads to harmonious sleep and vice versa. My next article will discuss the essential benefits of sleep and how to get it.
International School Of Healing Arts, is a spiritually based interfaith 501c3 non-profit public benefit organization located in both San Diego, CA USA and Prague Czech Republic. ISOHA presents the work of it’s founder, Seymour Koblin.
Since 1981 Seymour has been an international educator traveling to numerous countries Inspiring the Path of Holistic Health. He is most well known for the creation of Zen-Touch™ Shiatsu, his unique approach to Macrobiotics that integrates Traditional Chinese Medicine, Ayurveda, Kabalah and other traditional Energetic Healing methods. Seymour is also known for his unique approach to E-Motional Healing utilizing Calm Passionate Communication, Vision Training and Intuition Development.
Since 1989, Seymour has also participated in founding several schools that are either using or have at one time used his original San Diego, CA name- “school of healing arts”.
In 2014 the 30 year established San Diego state approved “school of healing arts” changed it’s name to International College Of Holistic Studies/ICOHS. Seymour was the founder of these healing schools and others.
Seymour departed from ICOHS in 2015 and formed a new spiritually based 501c3 non-profit organization called International School of Healing Arts based in San Diego, CA and Prague Czech Republic. The Idaho New Leaf, Manchester-UK , Kiev-Ukraine and Moscow– Russia schools also use “school of healing arts” in their name.
These schools and others are separate entities. They have no legal or educational tie to each other. Note: Owning a name that has such broad generic words in the title may lead to ambiguity for some especially on the internet in google, yahoo, bing or other search engines.
If you have any questions about any of these different schools that come up in searches please contact firstname.lastname@example.org.